


His Other Billy

by auselysium



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: M/M, tw: infant death mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7663768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auselysium/pseuds/auselysium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quiet scene with Todd and both his Billy's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Other Billy

Walking up and down the rows of etched gray stone jutting up out of the green grass, it is almost impossible for Todd not to do the mental calculations.

1902-1978

 _76 years. Respectable,_ he thinks.

1919-1939.

_20\. Probably died in the war._

1920-2012

_92\. Blimey, the things she must have seen..._

But then he finds the stone he’d come for. The stone whose dates are measured, not in years, but in days.

_Billy Platt_   
_May 31-June 2, 2004._

“Hiya, mate,” Todd says, softly, his voice catching in his throat as he sits near the foot of his son’s grave.

He allows himself to reflect in the private stillness of the cemetery set in the shadow of St. Mary’s. The sun shines, the birds chirp merrily and Todd is suddenly struck with an understanding of why humanity has buried their loved ones like this for eons. Right now, in this moment, this is no place to fear or dread, not a reminder of death but of remembrance.

He breathes the warmth of the fresh cut grass and thinks he, of all people, should have brought flowers.

 _Do you bring flowers for a baby?_ He wonders.

Billy’s grave is smaller than those that surround it, just like his coffin had been. Even though it’s been over 12 years, he can still remember Sarah’s sobs, his graveside speech where he’d taken some of his manhood back from those who had questioned it and stood up for himself, for the relationship of father and son that he was owed, even if it was only to ever be granted in death.

Sarah has a new life to tend to now. His godson, Harry, is a hapless surrogate no matter how kind Sarah’s gesture had been.

All Todd truly has is this and that singular, grainy photo still in the inexpensive frame Eileen had put it in all those years ago, tucked in his top drawer in his bedroom.

“It is you,” the familiar voice, husky but tender, snaps him from his thoughts and the tears that had been forming.

 _Billy_. His other Billy. But just as much his as the infant who lies six feet below.

“I thought I saw a dashing man bearing a great resemblance to you walking the grounds and thought, ‘This can’t be my Todd.’ Glad to see I was wrong.” Billy smiles cheerfully, having yet to put the puzzle pieces together.

“I guess I don’t come up here very often, do I?”

“Ah, try not at all.”

“Yeah, it's not nearly as much as I should.”

It’s only then that Billy hears the grim edge in Todd’s voice, the dampness in the corner of his eyes and looks at the headstone. He sighs sadly, his fingers curling around Todd’s shoulder before he sits next to him silently.

It is into this safe quiet, knowing he has both the ear of a man of the cloth and the man in his life, Todd speaks.

“I never even held him while he was alive. Did I ever tell you that?” Billy shakes his head. “I only saw him through the window at the hospital after he’d died. Sarah had him in her arms and he was so tiny, all covered in wires and blankets. You’d hardly know there was an actual person in there.”

Billy takes his hand, brow creased. Todd looks at him, thankful, and covers their hands with his free one.

“When I left for London it was easy enough to...well not to forget, exactly, but move on, you know? I was out and proud, young and living life. I met Jules, fell out with him and moved in with Ben. Yeah, I mean, he was always there. In the back of my mind. I’d think of him at Christmas and on his birthday. But in my day to day life, Billy,” he says nods towards the grave for clarification, “He just wasn’t there. That makes me an awful person, doesn’t it?”

“Course not. Acceptance and moving on, it’s an important stage of grieving.  It's not something to be ashamed of.”

Todd nods, biting at the inside of his lip, not quite ready to believe him. “Then I came home and there was Sarah with Bethany. And Gail,” he shakes his head, eyes towards the sky remembering all the hate, not completely undeserved either, that woman had flung at him through the years. “That was all it took to start remembering everything that happened back then. And then I find out Sean is dating some new bloke called Billy and there he is again. Everyday. Not in the back of my mind now, but front and center. It really messed with my head at first, having someone called Billy around, staying at my house. Every time Sean or Eileen talked about you, every time I saw you, it made me think of him.”

They stare silently at the grave stone.

“Maybe that’s why I was such an arse to you when we first met,” He says, bumping Billy’s shoulder.

“And here’s me thinking you just didn’t like me cause of the dog collar.”

“I love the dog collar.” Todd says, with a flirty grin. “Well, at least I do now.”

Billy rolls his eyes, but smiles wide enough for Todd to see that adorable gap in his front teeth.

“I love you, you know,” Todd says. He’s said it enough times that it doesn’t shock Billy but not enough times that he still doesn’t get butterflies in his stomach when Billy says it back.

“I do know. And I love you, too.”

He looks at Billy, the sun falling on his face makes his blue eyes glow, and he feels himself blush at the compassion and warmth he sees there.  In no universe does Todd deserve him.

“I came here today because the other night I was sat at the Rover's and for the time, someone asked me about Billy and I didn’t think of him first. I thought of you.”

Because now that that shared name is such a usual part of his daily life - spoken, laughed, breathed, moaned, associated with an immense but different kind of love - it’s Billy Mayhew, vicar, boyfriend, lover, partner that Todd thinks of now not the son he never had the chance to know.

“And that really scared me.”

Billy gives Todd his best “concerned vicar” face but instead of taking the mick like Todd normally would, he soaks in the the concern, squeezing back when Billy’s hand tightens on his.

“Could you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Well, just seeing as he’s right outside your office window and all... can you make sure I don’t forget him?”

Billy face softens, morphing from concern to affection. He hooks his finger under Todd’s chin and pulls him into a soft kiss.

“Somehow, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Watching old Todd videos, I was flabbergasted to find that Todd's baby with Sarah who died after 1 day was also named Billy. There was a short mention right before Sarah had her other baby about it really throwing him whenever Sean mentioned "his fella", so I thought they should talk about it together.


End file.
